I haven't written anything on Star Wars: The Force Awakens thus far, and I'm sure you've all read a whole litany of pieces regarding the film by now, so I'll keep this brief. This will not be an in depth review, and you will find NO SPOILERS HERE. Like, none, I promise. I give you my word.
I'm not going to talk about the story, or the characters, or the setting in any way. I'm actually going to use this time to talk about me a bit. And I know how that sounds, but trust me, it'll make sense in a second.
I don't want to talk about the movie because in a manner of speaking, the movie doesn't matter. I know, I know, chill with the pitch forks and the racist epithets I see you preparing to sling my way (I kid, I kid), I'm making a point here. Of course the movie matters to us, but it doesn't matter without us. You see what I mean?
Star Wars is a universe, not only that, it is a universe unlike any that exists. Sure it's unique in a lot of ways, but that's not what I mean. Star Wars is considered unique because of the effect it has on people. Think about fandoms for a moment. Reflect on what that word means to you, which ones you might belong to or identify with, or your own preconceptions about what it means to belong to one. Think about it. There is a very specific type of person that is allowed to love something so much, especially when it comes to sci fi, or fantasy, or anything of the like. Nerds, right? At least that's generally how we think of things. But Star Wars, for reasons I have to believe are of historical significance, is the ultimate exception. Everyone is allowed to love Star Wars. Everyone. I don't care who you are or what you do for a living, where you live or what you wear, it doesn't matter. I don't care if you're a casual fan, a die hard know it all, or a newbie who saw your first Star Wars movie yesterday, AND on top of it all that movie was a prequel. It doesn't matter. Not to me, and not to anyone else. What do you call that? How do you quantify that kind of love? Maybe you just don't.
I felt a lot of things when I left that theater. A lot of things. I can't really list them, not because there's too many, but rather because I'm not really sure what to call all of it. In all honesty I had a headache when I walked out. I don't mean that as a negative, it's just a fact, I left that theater with a headache and I couldn't tell you why. Maybe it was the two hour drive up to the cinema, or the craning of my neck upwards to see the screen seeing as the only seats we could get together were at the base of the auditorium. I don't know, I'm spit balling here. Maybe I just had a headache, I get them from time to time.
I felt warm. On the inside. I felt a little small. It was probably the screen, or the scope of the film itself, or the sheer number of people there to share in the experience. I felt included. Like I didn't have to prove that I loved Star Wars to anyone. I felt a little less alone.
I felt a really comforting lack of conern. I had a final exam the following morning, and a trip that I hadn't packed for the following day. I had emails to write and applications to send, I had my parents to please (like I always do) and I had friends to say goodbye to before the long break started. I had a laundry list of things I probably should've been nervous about, and before the movie started, I really was. But not during, and not for a while after.
I felt important. Like my generation was witnessing something special. I can wish and beg all I want but I'll never be old enough to have seen the first Star Wars movie in theaters all those years ago in 1977. And maybe that's ok. Because on December 17, 2015, I saw something new start, and something old start again, all in the same fell swoop.
I felt so goddamn happy, guys. Really, I did.
Look, this was a weird one. Not a lot of humor, not a lot of snark, and sometimes it's cool to stow that shit away, because I saw a movie, friends, and it moved me. Genuinely, and very deeply, and that's a rare thing, I'm sad to say. How else can I say it?
It's back. Star Wars is back. Like BACK back. And I got to see that happen. And from now until I die that will never not be true.
Star Wars doesn't matter without us, because it is the effect it has on us that is so special. That's what makes Star Wars...Star Wars.
I didn't want to review this movie, I mean a part of me did, but it wouldn't feel right. It would feel forced and impersonal for me to critique it right now because all I'm interested in doing is loving this movie. So that's what I'm gonna do. I invite you all to do the same.
Thanks.
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